Yep I got The Call!!

Ok I just tried to post my blog from last night and it didn't save so I lost a good two hours worth of writing. Sorry for the delay but I will attempt to keep updating as the days go by. This is what did save....

It's now 9p.m at night and I'm sitting here from my hospital bed at TGH (Toronto General Hospital). I'm sitting here in complete amazement that I am past 'The Call'. It's so beyond words that I'm literally scrambbling to write them and describe how I feel in the most perfect way possible. Obviously I'm elated and excited and also completely thankful to my donor and his/her family. I'm also in shock and afraid that I will jinx it by getting too excited. My family and myself have been knocking on every wood surface and then some since the day of the call. I'll try to go back to the beginning and give everyone a recap of my experience of this amazing gift. This is all my perspective on all of this so it may differ from others, obviously.
It was Monday night at 9:54 p.m. and a phone number crosses the T.V. screen with an unknown name and 416 number. Rogers displays our call display in this fashion so one of us will usually be shouting out who it is calling to calm those of us who know it's a long distance ring but can't see the T.V. I was in the living room with Mom, Jeff and Dan and we all looked at each other with the look of "This could be it".

And I will continue...

My mom answered the phone and I could tell it was the call. She handed me the phone with a small nod. The lady on the other end told me she was from the transplant team and that they had a new set of lungs for me if I wanted them. Hell ya I want them. I didn't say that but I could have. It was pretty standard, she asked me when I had eaten last and told me not to eat or drink anything and where to go when we got to the hospital. As soon as I got off the phone the scrambling started and of course, the tears. I hugged Jeff and mom and Dan proceeded to make phone calls and get stuff together while Jeff and I attempted to put, what I call my pointless, bag together. The only thing I needed was my body and my angels/spirit guides/whatever positive energy I could use and I trully believe I had a lot of those. Everything else can be brought later but I did bring my meds. I said goodbye to my fur babies and we all packed into the Rav (including Leslie, my sister) as the full moon above casted an eerily calm glow on all our faces. It could have been the fact that the last call I received was a false alarm and was therefore not allowing the concept of what could happen to really sink in but I just felt like it was going to be okay. I was still nervous but not as bad. We went to the ER when we got there at 1130 p.m. Traffic again was perfect and we zoomed there. They admitted me there and then sent us to get xrays and then on to the 7th floor to get an I.V. and some anti-rejection pills. The surgeon also came to talk to us as well. We were fully settled in and the nurses were done poking and proding me around 1:30 a.m. We knew the surgery wouldn't be until the morning which was the hardest part. I was waiting seven months up until then but those last six-seven hours were the worst. I tried to sleep while my entourage of family and friends found whatever refuge they could find in the waiting room. Finally after around 7:30 -8:00 a.m. the doctor came in to say it was a go. Reality then came flowing in in the form of an tsunami of tears from all our eyes. It was really going to happen. Wholly shit! And from that point on it went really fast. I didn't really have too much time to panic about it. They sent me down to the OR within 20 minutes of telling me it was a go. I waited with 2 family members at a time in surgical pre-op and was waving my last goodbye to them with a big smile on my face within 45 minutes. Everyone in the OR was super nice and comforting. They made me feel as comfortable as one could feel before knowing you will literally be leaving your life in their hands. I met with the two anesthiologists and one proceeded to give me my arterial line in the left while the other gave me my peripheral in my right hand. They both went off without a hitch. I could therefore relax because the pain and stressful stuff was over, for my part anyways, and the needles weren't even bad, mostly pressure. I told myself to just be at peace with the decision I made and know that my grandparents and even Jeff's Pop and grandpa were all there with me, looking over me. I sent a big bout of positive energy and love into the universe, to my family and friends who would now have to bare the burden of waiting. During this whole process, we all couldn't help but think of the poor family who had just lost their loved one and were having to say goodbye. We definitely sent our gratitude and love. Such a gracious act of kindness. It makes me believe in the good in this universe all over again.
The next time 'I' remember waking up it was sunny and around 9:30 (so I was told) and while I knew where I was, I was confused by the time. I was wondering how it could be 9:30 at night when it was still sunny?! I was then informed that I had missed a whole day. It was in fact 9:30 a.m. Wednesday and although I was awake on Tuesday afternoon, I don't remember any of it. I was motioning to my family with gestures and attempting to write stuff on paper but it was jumbled to say the least. Apparently it was pretty funny. I'm just glad I didn't say anything too bad (or incriminating...you never know what little trinkets of truth might slip from your semi-conscious mind. I guess I don't have any so that's good!)
So Wednesday I awoke with the breathing tube and NG tube, (I think that's what it's called) all four chest tubes plus all the lines for I.V.s and blood gases. I was still pretty dopey though so it wasn't bothering me too much. I was able to write better too. I was not in any pain. I had my trusty little PAC pump (again, I think that's what it was called) that pumped morphene into me whenever I needed it. I used it pretty liberally as I was told not to let the pain get too much ahead of m4 but I also didn't want to go hog wild. That's the balance I'm trying to find now that I'm on oral Oxycodones. If I let the pain get too bad I won't breath as deeply but if I take too much it bungs me up. I can get the meds every two hours right now if I need them but I've actually been able to wait up to four with no problems thus far. It was only a couple of hours before when 'I' remember waking on Wednesday to when they actually took the breathing tube out. The RMT came in to try removing a balloon type piece of the tube but she couldn't take that out without me gasping too much so she just said that she would take it out all together once my levels reached the number they needed to be at. (My levels were at around a 12 and they needed to be around a 5, I think.) When it was getting close to those numbers I did start to get antsy but it happened fast. They were waiting for some of my family to be by my side. Once they got there, I was supposed to breath in and then breath out and cough while she pulled it out. It was relieving to have it out.
The NG tube was left in though so it was still difficult to swallow but I could talk a little at least. I was then taken to step down mid-day. I got up and walked around. My legs were a bit shaky and I was pretty nauseous but I made it with some help, all the way around the block. At this point I still couldn't take too big a breath in because of the chest tubes and the fact that the little lower aolveoli still aren't completely inflated yet. But I knew it was still better and it felt damn good :) My family was so overjoyed. I loved seeing them all so amazed and happy. I couldn't keep too much down accept liquids on the Wednesday and Thursday but by Friday afternoon, I was on a normal diet. I was hungry by then. The NG tube came out on Thursday mid-day. The catheter also came out and I had to get a blood transfusion because of a lower hemoglobin count. Just a single small bag though. I've also been low on Magnesium which they've been supplementing. The NG tube was not that bad it was just annoying so it was a relief to have it out. They also took out a couple more lines. On Friday afternoon I was moved to the 7th floor which is where I've been recuperating ever since. I had two chest tubes removed at that time and my arterial line.
For side affects so far I am pretty swollen but that's common and it's actually gone down a little. I'm also really itchy. I've been given Benadrehyl which helps but because my skin is also thinner, I've been getting random cuts and scrapes from scratching. Plus lots of bruising due to the Heparin injections. I'm really trying hard not to scratch but eeekk it's hard. I was throwing up Wednesday and Thursday but they gave me something for that too and I've been good ever since (again, knock, knock!!) It's now Sunday and breathing is even better and I'm getting more old junk up which is good. The other chest tubes will still be awhile longer but I'm okay with that. I'm just elated to be where I'm at right now. So thankful and happy and always smiling.
On the Friday night, there was a pretty devastating event that happened here and it shook me up emotionally. A guest in the hospital had just recently given her husband the gift of life by donating part of her liver to him. They both seemed to be doing fine and we had met them both when he came by to visit her (not too sure why they weren't in the same room?) Super nice people. At around 3:45 a.m. she was woken (and subsequently myself as well) to the news that her husband had gotten a blood clot that traveled to his brain and had rendered him on life-support. The doctor and nurses were informing her that she would have to go say good-bye and that there didn't appear to be anything they could do. It was sooooo hard to hear her pain. I was balling over on my side, trying to be inconspicuous but it was difficult. I just felt so bad for her and her family. I also felt somewhat guilty for my own positive experience which I know I can't, every case is different and every case has it's risk but it was hard. She was really strong though and I had gone down to give my condolences and some of her family was there. They were all pillars of strength as well as kind. They reminded me to stay strong and not let their tragedy get in the way of my healing. They understood that it was a freak accident and that she had done all that she could have done to try and save his life. She gave him the best gift she could have and she, at the very leas,t had the peace of mind to know that. This was just one of those things that happens, it may not have even been transplant related. There was nothing anyone could do. I send my love and positive energy to her and her family at this time. I wish them all the strength to get through this tough time. I want to walk away from that with knowledge that I may not know what fate will bring in the next while but I know that if anything bad does happen, I know I tried and that I"m at total peace with the decision I've made. I know it was the right one to make. I plan to just rejoice day by day and take the blips when they come. That's all anyone can do.
So now it's night time and the day flew by with visits and such. I'm tired and will be hitting the sack soon but I plan to update more often. Thanks to you all for your love and support.